Well it has been a month since this blog got resuscitated and in the process I have learnt a few things I want to share - my blog tips! The initial start of the blog was about a year ago and I couldn’t solve a Feedburner issue which meant I had no idea if people were subscribing or not - so I left it on the back burner. Now, with a new plug in, I know the answer to the question of subscribers and I can watch it grow.

So, the relaunch taught me these things:

• Read, read and read some more on the topic of blogging. Most of the material is available free online [although I did borrow a book from my local library on the topic]. The two best courses that I came across are Kian Ann’s Blogopreneur and Better Business Blogging - go check them out.
• Bite the bullet and, whenever possible, download Wordpress onto your own server. All the experts say that the control is worth it. I am not an expert in these things but I can use an FTP program and that is all you need. Two Wordpress tips would be:
  • Be cautious with the plug ins. There are so many out there that they can be overwhelming. Just take it one step at a time and read, read and read until you find the ones you want to try.
  • Play with themes. There is no way I could write my own but again there are plenty out there for you to try - many of them free of charge. Plenty to get you started at least.
• Start! Write, write and write. It’s a bit like waiting until you can afford it before you start a family - you never will afford it on paper but it all works out. If you wait until you blog is totally ready before you start it may never happen - so just do it- write something.
• Focus! Stick with your topic (now I can hear some of you saying what has this post got to do with Understanding Teenagers - well one thing for sure is that the vast majority of my readers are familiar with blogs, so this one is for them!). Build a reputation as an expert in your field.
• Final tip: leave the rest and learn as you go along. On my learning list is SEO (any tips anyone?) - I am reading about it all, learning as I go along and have extended my vocabulary considerably (trackback, pingback) - but they aren’t essential at this stage.

If you were thinking of starting your own blog then give it a go, start today/this weekend.

Posted: October 4th, 2007 under Communication.
Comments: none

As the Northern Hemisphere starts back to school and we begin our final term before the summer holidays; I thought it would be good to remind us all about the issue of bully and more importantly how to prevent it. All schools will have an anti-bullying policy but it is also good to train our children [whatever age] to prevent themselves from becoming a victim.

Here are 10 things that a bully looks for, they give him/her a sense of achievement whenever they get this kind of response. The key, therefore, is to learn to avoid showing that their bullying has these effects.

• Eyes - red, teary, weepy, narrowed, looking down or away.
• Face - white, red, tense muscles.
• Lips - tight or mouth open.
• Head - down.
• Shoulders - slumped, bent over, pulled back.
• Voice - very quiet, angry, upset, muffled, a grunt.
• Body Movements - frozen, stuck, paralysed, rigid, fidgeting, walking away.
• Verbal Retaliation - blabbering, criticizing back, blaming.
• Feelings - fear, anger, hurt, hate, demonstrated embarrassment, teariness, frustration.
• Demeanour - doing nothing or being powerless.

Of course many of the reactions are just intuitive and come ‘naturally’, which is why we need to train our children to be counter-intuitive. If the bully doesn’t think they are ‘winning’; ‘on target’; ‘getting to you’ then they will very likely stop.

Let’s help those we love live free from bullying.

[This post was inspired by a Blog Competition by SuperFundraiser Blog.]

Posted: October 3rd, 2007 under Understanding Teenagers.
Comments: 3

At the time this event occurred Daniel was 10 and Ben was 12 - two brothers, the son’s of our friends. We were visiting their house that night - New Year’s Eve I think (it was a few years ago). The night went really well and it was getting near the time for the boys to go to bed. We were all sitting in the room and I decided to play my question game - the boys agreed.

The game is played quite simply - I ask a question and they give me their answer. I was the only ‘adult’ talking so my wife and their parents were just observers.

The questions started simply:

• What is your favourite subject at school?
• What teacher do you enjoy the most?
• Which teacher do you not like?

Slowly they started to require a little more thinking:

• What would you like to do after school?
• Where would you like to live in later life?
• What profession would you like as an adult?

Then into the deeper aspects of life:

• What is your plan/purpose/dream for your life?
• What are your views on God, religion and life after death?
• What will your wife be like?
• What is your perspective on government policies.

The lads [and I] had a ball! Time came for bed although [as to be expected] they just didn’t want to go.

The best part of the conversation, though, was with the parents after the boys had been settled down. They were astounded at the understanding and insight their sons had.

I understood, of course, that they saw them as their two little boys, remembered them as babies, watched carefully over every step of their life to date. I saw them as 2 young men, aspiring adults, people with views, interests, questions of their own. People of the future not children of the past.

How do you see others?

Posted: October 1st, 2007 under Teenager, Understanding Teenagers.
Comments: none