You know when you meet someone for the first time and the conversation doesn’t quite go right? Maybe they said something you didn’t like or you made a comment they didn’t agree with? Well that has just happened to me when reading a website. Their opening remark was:

Parenting teens is a thankless and tough job.

I would have copes if they said ‘can be’ or ’sometimes appears to be’ but they made a definitive statement - and I don’t agree with it.

Then they went on to say:

If you have a teenage girl, parenting becomes huge challenge.

And I don’t agree again - my observation is that *if* anything teenage boys provide more challenges.

Maybe it’s because I am about to walk my baby down the aisle that I can see the thankfulness in parenting … what do you think?

I am almost reluctant to give you the link! But then again they may say some good things in the article, but I confess I didn’t read it - first impressions and all that.

Posted: March 24th, 2008 under Communication, Parents, Understanding Teenagers.
Comments: none

There is a great post over at Parenting Ideas that talks about exam stress - for us parents!. Here is the opening paragraph:

When it comes to exams, or indeed any academic work, parents feel that they should be encouraging their teen to try hard and do well. The problem is that in trying to achieve this, many parents end up causing stress either for themselves, their teen or both.

I would encourage you to bookmark it and have it on file for when the next set of exams come your way.

Posted: March 22nd, 2008 under Parents, Teenager, Understanding Teenagers.
Comments: none

I came across this very interesting web page - which I think is actually advertising adult education. But they seem to have really nailed the relationship between some teenagers and their parents - have a look at this list and ask yourself if you have ever thought / said them:

Parents sometimes say:

“He treats this place like a hotel”
“She’s like a Jekyll and Hyde”
“He doesn’t talk to us any more”
“He should study more and listen to music less”
“Sometimes I feel she hates me”

I thought so - I almost saw many of you nodding your head in agreement.

If you live near Bath in the UK you can subscribe to their course in Educational Psychology - if not you may want to check out your local options.

Posted: March 19th, 2008 under Parents, Teenager, Understanding Teenagers.
Comments: none

Valerio1 [whoever they are] have quoted some research about young people and the use of cannabis.

Young people who are heavy smokers of cannabis may be putting themselves at significant risk for periodontal disease, according to new research.

Now I am not saying that the research is right or wrong, but the questions raised by it are these:

1. Do they [whoever they are and we will come to that later] really think that young heavy users of cannabis [maybe grammatically incorrect but I am sure you realise I am not referring to fat kids] care about gum disease?
2. Are they anticipating these young people immediately go and stop smoking because of this new research?
3. Am I surprised that funding for the research was provided by organisations that might benefit from the results?

I just hope that none of my hard earned dollars ends up providing such types of research into these kind of things.

Posted: February 11th, 2008 under Parents, Teenager.
Comments: none

In the blog Dads are Disciplers they have a quote by Jim Berg which they have entitled “Parenting Teens Begins at Birth”

How true, but then again how difficult to explain this to parents as their children are growing up. For example, I noticed that a school was holding a seminar for parents , but my experience is that it is very difficult to get parents too attend. Those that should be there don’t think they need to be.

Why is that?

Posted: February 9th, 2008 under Parents, Teenager.
Comments: none

Annette Paxman Bowen writes a great post about connecting with teens [it is excepted from a letter she received. Some of the tips included:

• Support their interests
• let your home be the gathering place
• Look for something to praise and compliment every single day
• natural consequences for choices and behaviours
• Reflective listening is powerful
• Have them check in with you when they come home
• Let them have complete stewardship of their rooms
• Have fun with them every single week
• Laugh a lot
• Talk (and listen) a lot

Actually all the tips were so good I included every one of them!

Go check it out here.

Posted: February 3rd, 2008 under Parents, Teenager, Understanding Teenagers.
Comments: 2

Here is another good news story about young people, another occasion for their mothers and fathers to smile and feel all warm inside.

I don’t put these here to make you feel bad if your kids don’t do this stuff - but to give you hope that not all young people create negativity - now if you could persuade your son or daughter to hag out with good kids!

Rolla resident Dan Phillips writes that he was pleasantly surprised when he took his two daughters, 7 and 5 along with a friend, bowling last Monday, the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday.

Writes Phillips, “When we started our second game, a group of teenagers began bowling next to us. The group was bowling next to us for almost an hour and it occurred to me that I did not hear a single swear word or sexual innuendo. They were not rude or loud. They were just great young people.

“In a world filled with the negative thoughts and notions about teenagers, I just wanted to say thanks to Adam, Cody, Cat, Nat and Burt (names from their scoring screen) for their wholesome behavior.

“I wish more young people followed their example.”

Posted: January 29th, 2008 under Parents, Teenager.
Comments: none

Many parents take time to realise that some things are not worth fighting over and Kelly details this in a great, humorous way:

Butterfly (16) flitted around all day, preparing for a weekend retreat up north with her church youth group. A nice thing about parenting teens is that they can pack for themselves. A difficult thing about parenting teens is that they pack for themselves. Items that are entirely inappropriate. But my gosh, I need to pick my battles, and I’d rather save up my “no’s” for issues like beer bongs.

Jim Graham said it like this: Major on the Majors. Of course you have to decide what is a major to your family but if you fought every battle that became available you would be very tired and battle worn.

Posted: January 27th, 2008 under Communication, Parents, Understanding Teenagers.
Comments: none

Alison, over at Life Seminars made a very informative post a few days ago. She said:

Parenting Teen Girls

One thing I hear from parents over and over again is concern for their young girls and their body image. It isn’t unusual for a slim nine-year-old girl to express concern over her weight. What is going on? We know the media plays a huge role in all of this and I too have heard the same concerns voiced from my very petite daughter as well. I have concluded that there are several important areas to focus on

She then went on to list several practical tips on what not to do and what you can do to help your daughter as she grows.

Surely as a society we have to take some responsibility when nine year olds are expressing these concerns - well any age actually but at nine?

Posted: January 25th, 2008 under Parents.
Comments: none

Supernanny has quoted the following:

Jane Hambleton has dubbed herself the “meanest mom on the planet.”

After finding alcohol in her son’s car, she decided to sell the car and share her 19-year-old’s misdeed with everyone — by placing an ad in the local newspaper.

The ad reads: “OLDS 1999 Intrigue. Totally uncool parents who obviously don’t love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet.”

I love the idea of logical consequences [and I am assuming that his parents bought him the car in the first place] but it does come across as a little harsh. Having said that who knows what has gone on before about their son’s drinking habits; or the rules by which he was given the car etc.

Do you think she’s mean?

Posted: January 18th, 2008 under Communication, Parents, Teenager.
Comments: none