There is a great post over at Parenting Ideas that talks about exam stress - for us parents!. Here is the opening paragraph:

When it comes to exams, or indeed any academic work, parents feel that they should be encouraging their teen to try hard and do well. The problem is that in trying to achieve this, many parents end up causing stress either for themselves, their teen or both.

I would encourage you to bookmark it and have it on file for when the next set of exams come your way.

Posted: March 22nd, 2008 under Parents, Teenager, Understanding Teenagers.
Comments: none

I came across this very interesting web page - which I think is actually advertising adult education. But they seem to have really nailed the relationship between some teenagers and their parents - have a look at this list and ask yourself if you have ever thought / said them:

Parents sometimes say:

“He treats this place like a hotel”
“She’s like a Jekyll and Hyde”
“He doesn’t talk to us any more”
“He should study more and listen to music less”
“Sometimes I feel she hates me”

I thought so - I almost saw many of you nodding your head in agreement.

If you live near Bath in the UK you can subscribe to their course in Educational Psychology - if not you may want to check out your local options.

Posted: March 19th, 2008 under Parents, Teenager, Understanding Teenagers.
Comments: none

Tracey tells a great story of asking her son to do something - which he does - but in a way that intrigues her. Go and have a read.

My question would be, does she talk to her son about her conclusions?

Showing our humanity, frailty, weakness to our children isn’t easy [or always recommended] but when we can it increases the bond between us.

Give it a try and/or tell us about when you have done it.

Posted: March 18th, 2008 under Communication, Teenager, Understanding Teenagers.
Comments: none

Not sure where this blog came from - but they have made an interesting post on the 3 mistakes often made when parenting teens.

They say you need to do these 3 things to avoid the mistakes:

1. Keep up with modern teenage behaviour
2. Discuss instead of lecture.
3. Do not give up too quickly.

It a quick read - well worth your time in clicking and going to check it out.

Posted: February 17th, 2008 under Communication, Teenager, Understanding Teenagers.
Comments: none

Valerio1 [whoever they are] have quoted some research about young people and the use of cannabis.

Young people who are heavy smokers of cannabis may be putting themselves at significant risk for periodontal disease, according to new research.

Now I am not saying that the research is right or wrong, but the questions raised by it are these:

1. Do they [whoever they are and we will come to that later] really think that young heavy users of cannabis [maybe grammatically incorrect but I am sure you realise I am not referring to fat kids] care about gum disease?
2. Are they anticipating these young people immediately go and stop smoking because of this new research?
3. Am I surprised that funding for the research was provided by organisations that might benefit from the results?

I just hope that none of my hard earned dollars ends up providing such types of research into these kind of things.

Posted: February 11th, 2008 under Parents, Teenager.
Comments: none

In the blog Dads are Disciplers they have a quote by Jim Berg which they have entitled “Parenting Teens Begins at Birth”

How true, but then again how difficult to explain this to parents as their children are growing up. For example, I noticed that a school was holding a seminar for parents , but my experience is that it is very difficult to get parents too attend. Those that should be there don’t think they need to be.

Why is that?

Posted: February 9th, 2008 under Parents, Teenager.
Comments: none

Annette Paxman Bowen writes a great post about connecting with teens [it is excepted from a letter she received. Some of the tips included:

• Support their interests
• let your home be the gathering place
• Look for something to praise and compliment every single day
• natural consequences for choices and behaviours
• Reflective listening is powerful
• Have them check in with you when they come home
• Let them have complete stewardship of their rooms
• Have fun with them every single week
• Laugh a lot
• Talk (and listen) a lot

Actually all the tips were so good I included every one of them!

Go check it out here.

Posted: February 3rd, 2008 under Parents, Teenager, Understanding Teenagers.
Comments: 2

Here is another good news story about young people, another occasion for their mothers and fathers to smile and feel all warm inside.

I don’t put these here to make you feel bad if your kids don’t do this stuff - but to give you hope that not all young people create negativity - now if you could persuade your son or daughter to hag out with good kids!

Rolla resident Dan Phillips writes that he was pleasantly surprised when he took his two daughters, 7 and 5 along with a friend, bowling last Monday, the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday.

Writes Phillips, “When we started our second game, a group of teenagers began bowling next to us. The group was bowling next to us for almost an hour and it occurred to me that I did not hear a single swear word or sexual innuendo. They were not rude or loud. They were just great young people.

“In a world filled with the negative thoughts and notions about teenagers, I just wanted to say thanks to Adam, Cody, Cat, Nat and Burt (names from their scoring screen) for their wholesome behavior.

“I wish more young people followed their example.”

Posted: January 29th, 2008 under Parents, Teenager.
Comments: none

Supernanny has quoted the following:

Jane Hambleton has dubbed herself the “meanest mom on the planet.”

After finding alcohol in her son’s car, she decided to sell the car and share her 19-year-old’s misdeed with everyone — by placing an ad in the local newspaper.

The ad reads: “OLDS 1999 Intrigue. Totally uncool parents who obviously don’t love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet.”

I love the idea of logical consequences [and I am assuming that his parents bought him the car in the first place] but it does come across as a little harsh. Having said that who knows what has gone on before about their son’s drinking habits; or the rules by which he was given the car etc.

Do you think she’s mean?

Posted: January 18th, 2008 under Communication, Parents, Teenager.
Comments: none

Micky expresses it like this:

I think about my family…my “family”…I think I have the most messed up family in the entire world. It was not fun to come home to the mess that was my mom…it was not fun at all…it was not fun to come home to what my brother has become, an angry teenager who hates the world because of the life he has been given…it was not fun to come home to a father who constantly reminds me how much college is costing me…
Christmas wasn’t half bad…for one whole day we could pretend like we were a happy family, I wish it could always be like that

Sad to say, Micky, that there are many more messed up families out there - but in saying that I don’t want to minimise what you live with. Angry teenagers are on the increase I reckon.

And yeah - if we could pretend it was Christmas every day - now wouldn’t that be good!

Posted: January 9th, 2008 under Parents, Teenager.
Comments: 3